Something that has been on my mind a lot lately and, to my surprise, the mind of others…
“Why don’t you perform in the scene anymore?”
This is very difficult for me to answer and even to this day I have constant internal battles about how I should approach this.
I cannot and will not fully encompass all the feelings I have on the matter in this blog post, but I can write what is off the top of my head. Here goes!
You see, for the longest time, I used to dance with my dear friend, Sekou McMiller and we (his group, Descarga Caribe) got a chance to perform ALL OVER the U.S. and the world!
Common sense would dictate that I would continue to try and travel and do my thing with Laura once Sekou moved to NYC. I had a different thought though. I know I have sense, perhaps I’m just not common. You see, I wanted to become a better.
In regards to becoming a better dancer, I actually mean I wanted to understand dance. I am a very technical person and I felt I knew enough to be a good club dancer, but to achieve a high standard, well that was a different matter all together.
If you guys have read my “Journey with Dance” blog, I explain a bit what I went through and decided upon. If you haven’t, check it out, I’ll be here when you get back.
Dancesport, the official title of competitive Ballroom Dancing, is where my interest and focus now resides. Actually, I literally can feel the goose bumps on my arms as I think about the next time I am going to compete! I ALWAYS got a nervous energy over me dancing Mambo onstage, but this is different. You see, in the Mambo scene, there is a “front.” This is in reference to the positioning of the stage and the audience. In a way, I almost see it as 2-D. Once I got on the competition floor, I was SURROUNDED!
The feeling I get on the Ballroom Floor vs. The Stage is simply a matter of “newness.” It’s new to me and the sensory overload is very exciting. You are literally overwhelmed by sights, sounds and other couples. You have no idea if you know the song. You have to reset and perform FIVE DIFFERENT styles of dance. Best of all, it’s a competition!
I could write forever about what is appealing to me about all of this but suffice to say, it’s NEW.
There is one other thing. Frankly, it’s “been a while.” HAHAH…. I mean for dance in MAMBO!
I haven’t performed in any Congress capacity since the 2009 Latin Street Congresso and we are now headed into 2012. As the days pass, my constant thought is that I must remain focused. The demand and expectation is so much higher and different that I don’t feel I can afford to steer to far away from my newly chosen path.
Also,I am never one to think I have arrived. On the contrary, I often don’t give myself enough credit, but I do know that my level would be considered advanced in the Salsa/Mambo world. With that said, sometimes I feel there is nothing to gain from it anymore. I mean, there is LOVE there, just no purpose.
There is PURPOSE in Dancesport. To get better. To climb the ladder. To improve your ability. To learn to refine your craft.
That seems purposeful to me.
To be honest, I’ll get flack from Laura from this as she is just in SADE-LOVE with dance. If you know love, you know SADE-LOVE is the highest form you can get! Laura just wants to dance and she gets a little restless with all of that wonderful energy of hers.
Which brings me to the OTHER side of the thoughts I have:
F@$k it, I should just do it cuz it’s FUN!
See? I’m conflicted. =)
What would you guys do?